Dear Santa...

I would quite like a boy who:

-Respects my opinions even if he doesn't agree with them.

-Understands that just because it's a bit girly, and he doesn't like it, the Gilmore Girls is a good show.

-Doesn't judge based on peoples tastes.

-Has good taste.

-Never, ever comments on what I eat. Ever.

-Wouldn't define me as "talkative" because they know that what I say is more important than how much I say.

-I can talk to.

-Knows who Bob Dylan is. I've found out some people don't. Shame.

-Can appreciate Bob Dylan and The Beatles even if he doesn't like them.

-Likes Choc Wedges.

-Wears board shorts not speedos. Shudder.

-Likes to dance like an idiot. With me.

-Never makes sickeningly sweet lists about the girl he wants.

-Knows that actually yes, we do still need feminists.

-Buys considerate gifts, not just cliches.

-Is ambitious.

-Has a good taste in jeans and shoes.

That's all, Santa. I'm not really asking for too much am I? Thank you,
Cat xx
P.S: Inspired by this post at My Itch Foot.

I love you...

I like picnics.

I like storms.

I like sunnies

I like floral prints.

I like dancing.

I like purple.

I like cupcakes.

I like pendants.

But,

Pictures from: weheartit.
Cat xx

Two priests, a rabi and a duck...

I have a confession to make.
I love jokes. Now that's not actually the confession, but I'll get there. I have a ridiculously good memory for things like names, scripts, phone numbers and jokes. Long ones, short ones, ones that are so mean I wish I'd never heard them, I know them all. Actually, some of the jokes I tell are hilarious. The problem is that they're looooong. So what happens is, I'm about to tell a joke and I think to myself: "What a wonderful wooorld.". No sorry, I'm kidding. I think: "Why bother with a funny long joke, when I could just tell one of my equally great, short ones?". That sounds good on the face of it. The problem is that they are not equally funny. Not even a little bit. Here's the real confession: I find bad jokes hilarious. I force them on to the ones I love. To me, a well worded and clever blond joke isn't anywhere near as funny as:
"Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?"
"Because he didn't have the heart!"
I laughed for 20 minutes the first time I heard that. Or:
"What did one rock say to the other rock?"
"Nothing, rocks can't talk."
What did the other rock say back?"
"Hello, I'm a magical talking rock!"
I don't know what it is about jokes that are...well, crap, but I just can't get enough. The main problem is that, in case I wasn't already socially awkward enough, this is another trait of mine that causes normal people to back away slowly. Sigh... I just don't understand how anyone could not find this funny:
"Why is a duck"
"Because two legs are both the same!"
Cat xx
ps. I realise it's a bit ridiculous to refer to blond jokes as good, but they're better than the jokes I tell. Trust me.
pps. That last joke doesn't make sense. That's the point.

Secret Garden...

I want to escape to a secret garden.
Where I'm safe, but anything can happen.

I want to have a tea party with all the magical creatures.

And I'll never ever leave.

Cat xx

Caught Red Handed.

Camelgirl tagged me for Guilty or Innocent. I hope you have a random yearning to know a lot of unimportant things about me. Of course, there are rules. Here they are:
You can only say Guilty or Innocent. You're not allowed to explain anything unless someone comments and asks you. Copy and paste this into a post, delete the answers here, replace them with your answers and tag some blogger friends to answer this.
Asked someone to marry you? Innocent.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty.
Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent.
Ever told a lie? Guilty.
Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty.
Kissed a picture? Guilty.
Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent.
Fallen asleep at work/school? Innocent.
Held a snake? Guilty.
Been suspended from school? Innocent.
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.
Stolen from a store? Innocent.
Been fired from a job? Innocent.
Done something you regret? Guilty.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent.
Kissed in the rain? Innocent.
Sat on a roof top? Innocent.
Kissed someone you shouldn't? Guilty.
Sang in the shower? Guilty.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.
Shaved your head? Innocent.
Had a boxing membership? Innocent.
Made a boy/girlfriend cry? Innocent.
Been in a band? Innocent.
Shot a gun? Innocent.
Donated Blood? Innocent.
Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.
Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.
Still love someone you shouldn't? Innocent.
Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.
Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent.
Been too honest? Guilty.
Ruined a surprise? Guilty.
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn't walk after wards? Guilty.
Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.
Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty.
Joined a pageant? Innocent.
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty.
Had communication with your ex? Guilty.
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty.

So now I'd like to tag this along to some of my favourite bloggers:
Frangipani Princess, who inspired me to start this blog.
and Elfie, who I hope will return to the blogosphere very soon.

Honest Scrap

The wonderful Frangipani Princess has tagged me for "Honest Scrap". Now I am obligated to post 10 random truths about myself or go to blogger hell. Actually that's a great thing because I've been having a terrible bout of writer's block. Shudder. So here I go:


1. I swallow gum. A lot.
I don't really know why I do, but I always have and it's never been a problem. On "Braniac" they did a test to see if gum really does stay in your system for 7 years like some people say and a week after the test person swallowed the gum it was gone. Otherwise I'd probably have chocked by now.


2. I'm a serial procrastinator.
If I can put it off, I will. Until the last possible opportunity to complete my homework/ clean my room/ practise piano I find something (anything) else to occupy myself with. The thing is, as of yet, I've never had to face any serious consequences. That's what happened when you're a privileged Australian girl. You become an inactive, lazy brat. Oh dear.

3. I've been playing recorder for 10 years.
I think I've already mentioned that, but I'll count it anyway. Everyone thinks that all you can play on recorder is "Hot Cross Buns", but that's not true. I've just completed my fourth grade exam (I got honours, hooray!) and I can play real songs.

4. I like Taylor Swift.
That probably doesn't sound too notable to you, but she's the only music of that style that I like, and my music snob friends pay me out all the time. Nasty Pasties. There's just something about her songs that makes me feel happy. Not as much as "The Cat Empire" though. Look them up.

5. I can't read/ hear/ talk about gruesome stuff without needing to tense up all my muscles.
It's really strange. My Humanities teacher said it had something to do with the fight or flight instinct. I feel like I'm in the situation or something. It's always happened. In fact, I'm getting it now just writing this.

6. Sometimes I can't help but be a bit of a music snob.
I feel terrible about it, but when someone says they like music that I hate, I sometimes feel superior. Which is a terrible, ignorant way to be. I've tried really hard not to do this and I'm getting better with it. Because if listening to a certain thing makes you happy, then that's what you should listed to.

7. I like the smell of things I shouldn't.
Like glue, petrol, methylated spirits, white out and permanent marker. I'm not a chromer or anything, there's just something oddly appealing about strong smells that seem as though they'd burn your skin. Not that I go around sniffing them...*cough*. Nah, kidding.

8. I waste my life in front of "Gilmore Girls" on the TV
Last year for Christmas, my family bought me the entire box set. Double awesome. But now I watch it almost every day. Literally. I have friends who know the names of the characters and all the major plot lines, just from how much I talk about it. They've never actually seen it. My humour has also started to become a bit like theirs. Just not as awesome. At all.


9. I like little kid movies.
Particularly Disney. I lo-o-ove them sooo much. Most of my favorite movies are ones that are aimed at people 10 or under and they're so sweet and they also remind me of being younger. My absolute favourites are "Alice in Wonderland" and Aladdin".


10. It took me 3 days to think of these.
Apparently I'm not a very interesting person. I always suspected it. I actually sat here, not knowing what to write. I apologise of you've fallen asleep. It was an accident, I swear.


So with no further (and boring) ado, I tag this along to: Camelgirl, Miss Moi and Michelle.
Cat xx

That's Showbiz

My drama performances are on this Friday night, Saturday afternoon and Saturday night. For a piece that is only allowed to go for 8 minutes, it sure does take a lot of preparation. I have to be at the place where I rehearse:
6:00 pm to 7:00 pm Wednesday (tech rehearsal),
and at the Banyule Theatre (what an attractive name (*cough*):
6:20 pm to 10:50 pm Thursday (dress rehearsal)
12:00 pm to 10:30 pm (ish) Friday (rehearsals and first performance)
12:00 pm to 11:00 pm (ish) Saturday (2nd two performances).
Oh dear me. All this for my 9 lines. Joy. My teacher also went and cut my kicking Tay in the balls. I'm half disappointed and half relieved.
Cat xx

But what if I miss?

In a week and 2 days I have my end of year drama performance. We are not ready at all. Even though our performance can only be eight minutes (there are so many different classes that that's all the time we have), we've only just finished writing it and we have terrible set up on stage and don't know some of our lines. On dear. There's one part that I'm particularly worried about:
I have to kick Tay in the balls. Not really obviously, but I have to pretend. Even though I fought to be the one who does that, I'm really nervous about it. Today we tried it for the first time, and the first time I did it I missed, and actually got him...you know. I felt so bad. Apart from feeling so bad, it also took me a while to get the confidence to try again. I tried next on my teacher. Successfully! Hurrah! So then I tried with Tay again and did it properly! Beforehand though I was sooo nervous. And then Gavin (my teacher) said:
"Just try one more time Cat."
And so I did and Tay was like:
"Arrrgh!"
And I screamed. Actually screamed. And then:
"Just kidding!" said Tay.
Not. Funny. At. All.
So I actually did hit him. On the arm.
I think the worst thing though, is that if on the day I accidentally hurt him, I won't know until after the show for sure, because he'll be pretending to be hurt anyway. Oh dear, dear me.
Cat xx

Road Trip

I've been rather stuck for things to write about for a while now. Maybe it's the holidays, but I've found myself devoid of original thought. That's what the holidays always seem to do. Before hand I think to myself "This is great, I'll be able to write more blogs and such.". But really, the mental stimulation of school is what enables me to think of interesting blog topics. Well, it appears so, anyhow. All I can think to post about is what I've been doing, and I don't think you'd find that particularly interesting. I've decided that in a few years time (when I'm 17 ish), I'm going to go on a road trip. Don't you think that would be seriously awesome? I don't even really like the idea of driving. I don't want my own car. But I'll get my license all the same and then hire a car with a friend (Joel, hopefully. It was him that I planned it with) and travel around Australia.

There's a movie called "Elizabethtown" starring Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. Maybe you've seen it. Anyway, it was on tv one night. I wasn't really paying all that much attention to it, to be honest. However, near the end, it got interesting. Kisten Dunst's character tells Orlando Bloom's character to go on a road trip. She makes him a massive scrap book thing and he doesn't open it 'till he's on the road. When he looks at it, it's filled with maps, ideas of obscure things to go and see and mix CD's that he has to listen to at particular points of his journey. That was when the idea of a road trip first appealed to me. How fun would it be to plan out your trip, music and all, and then just travel around for ages? To bring just the most basic things, spend most of your time in your PJs and eat pre-packaged food? To be independant, seeing places you've never seen before?

Photos found at Weheartit and Flickr.

Cat xx

Catch my disease...

Summer is on it's way and I have the same condition that I get every year: season envy. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Otherwise known as nevereversatisfied disease, but more specific, those with season envy can never enjoy the weather. They want more. Each year in summer, I sit in my light clothing in front of a fan complaining about how much I hate it and how I wish it was winter. "In winter," I say, in my try-hard smart voice, "you can escape the cold. All you need is a jumper or a blanket. Summer is inescapable. If you have clothes on you're hot and if you take them off you're hot and burnt." This is true, but when winter comes around, I'm singing a different tune. I miss summer, I tell everyone. I miss swimming, cold drinks, watermelon and dresses. I miss the pool, the beach. My friends glare at me, irritated with my impossible to please nature.

You might think that spring and autumn are perfect for me. Well, you are sorely mistaken. Sure, during summer and winter I say that I like autumn and spring. A perfect balance, not too cold or hot. But during spring my hay fever starts up, and autumn is dull. These are my complaints at the time anyway. The problem with season envy is that there is no real cure. I will forever be unsatisfied with the weather. It's a curse really. Cue sob story music.

Cat xx

Things I would do if I ruled the world:

1- Legalise gay marriage.
The fact that gay marriage isn't legal yet is wrong on so many different levels. I'm not saying that everyone should believe in gay marriage. It's completely fine that some people believe marriage should be between a man and woman, but there's no need for those people to rob others of their rights. You don;t need to be gay to see that the fact that gay marriage is illegal is wrong. I'm not gay and I can.

2- Give every high school student a laptop computer.
Just like Kevin Rudd said he would but didn't. Hmph.

3- Make National left-handers day a public holiday.
That one's for all my lefty friends. It's also a little bit because I love public holidays. Well, that's half of it actually... Fine, three quaters. And yes, there is a national left handers day. Awesome.

4- Rid the country of homelessness.
Easy peasy, oui? Ok, perhaps not, but I would stop turning a blind eye and take some real steps towards a solution. The upper middle class is far too fond of superiority.

5- Give out free cup cakes to everyone.
It's about time.

Cat xx

Things that I'm loving at the moment:

Excersise:
Over the past three days I have gone on two jogs around the block. You prbably think that's a ridiculous blip of a thing and not even worth pointing out, but for me it is alot and very impressive. I also play netball twice a week and walk for about half an hour a day to and from the tram. Ok, so that's a bit pathetic by normal standards, but I'm taking baby steps. It's not the actual excersise I enjoy, but the feeling that I'm doing something good for my body.

Lemon Sorbet:
As you may know, each issue of Frankie includes a recipe. This issue it was for lemon sorbet. I am an awful cook, but this looked simple so I decided to make it, and it was delicious. Yes, it is yet another reason for everyone to scurry off to the news agency and buy the latest issue!

Poached:
My absolute favourite cafe. It has tres delicious coffee and juices, and very yummy toasted sandwiches. If you're near enough you should definitely head down to it. It's near the corner of Lygon Street and Glen Lyon Road in Carlton, Melbourne.

Bubble Struggle 2: Rebubbled:
Since getting Facebook I've become head over heels addicted to this game. You play a devil man and you have to shoot the bouncing bubbles. My sister plays it as well and she's a good twenty levels ahead of me. I must beat her!

Cat xx

Check it out...

Two of my lovely friends (Loz and Bee) and I have started a joint blog. It's quite different to this one, but I think you'll like it nonetheless: Purple Big Brains. I've learnt that one blog is never enough. I crave more and now I have it. Everything has worked out rather nicely, don't you agree?

I found this so hilarious when I found it. I'm a little bit lame.

Cat xx

P.S If you scroll over th bit up there that says purple big brains it is a link. I don't know why it's black. Grr

Racism is everywhere...

Here's an odd little find for you. My friend told me to type "i am" into Google search and see what came up (before you actually search). Anyway I did this, but typed in one letter further accidentally and typed in "i am e". 10 results come up underneath as most searched. Four of them were:
I am extremely terrified of Chinese people
I am extremely scared of Chinese people
I am extremely afraid of Chinese people
I am extremely terrified of Chinese.
The last on the list was:
I am evil homer.
What does this say about the acceptance of our society? And what does this say about the TV viewing of our society?
Cat xx

A survey to listen to...

Try this lovely survey. It's a good boredom buster, but a great boredom causer. Using only song names from one artist, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think!

Pick Your Artist: The Cat Empire
Are you a male or female: Voodoo Cowboy
Describe yourself: How To Explain
How do you feel: Sly
Describe where you currently live: Protons, Neutrons, Electrons
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: In My Pocket
Your best friend is: Down at the 303
You and your best friends are: Fishies
What's the weather like: Panama
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Days Like These
What is life to you: The Night That Never End
Your last relationship was: Nothing
Your fear: No Mountain
What is the best advice you have to give:Know Your Name
How I would like to die: Motion
My soul's present condition: Party Started
My motto: Wont Be Afraid

Cat xx

Beaches in winter...

I realise this is incredibly belated, but I'm so glad the holidays are here at last! The reason I've been absent for the past week or so is that I've been in Queensland! It was awesome. I never realised winter could be so warm. It was actually in the 20 degrees all the time. When I got back home to Melbourne I spent the next hour shivering!
I'd have to say that the highlight of the trip was Australia Zoo (because "Dreams come true at Australia Zoo!"). I saw a crocodile feeding presented by the Irwin family. It was actually really scary, I was close to standing up and screaming "I DON"T WANT TO BE ONE OF THE WITNESSES OF TERRI IRWIN'S DEATH". Luckily I controlled myself and even better: everyone was fine. I also got one of those snake photos with the snake around my neck with my auntie and sister. It was awesome.
Cat xx
P.S- You know what else is awesome? The word awesome. Awesome...

I'm hounored, really I am...

It seems incredibly wrong that I'm being robbed of my education. Here at my school we have duty students. Today I'm on role which means that all day instead of being in class I have to go around to all the year nine and ten classes and take attendance. For me, this is awesome. I don't have to go to class and I still get most of each period off. Also, because all year tens are at work experience the job gets done in minutes and for the rest of the time I just read. So it's good for me. But what about the student who has a science test the next day and needs to revise? Or the one who ends up with a pile of homework that could rival Mt. Everest? There is some flexibility: you can swap days etc, but only so much can be done. In fact I think this means I'm going to fall behind in maths. I could swap...nah.
Cat xx

The beach smells strange these days...

I was in Healthy Lifestyles For Girls a while ago (a lovely class in every way *cough*) and I was talking to one of my friends and she smelled like the beach. I told her this, quite confused at the fact and it was as I was speaking that I realized: she was wearing sunscreen! It's that subconscious, that kind of association and I know its not just me because I've seen others make the same mistake and I must admit, I've wondered what was wrong with them, but nothing is. It's fascinating. People are so used to smelling sunscreen at the beach that anytime they smell it they wonder "Why does it smell like the beach?". I actually find it really nice, sort of bringing summer with me everywhere. I should really try wearing sunscreen! Apparently it's good for you in some way as well!!
Cat xx

The fact is, lip gloss should taste good...

I find it confusing and upsetting when non-living things deceive me without trying, and non-living things tend not to try. It makes me feel stupid. So when things smell delicious but taste disgusting it's very disgruntling. And what do I do when I am disgruntled by something? I post a blog list about it of course! So here are a few things that smell delicious, but which I have learned the hard way, taste disgusting...
1. Cocoa- Ahh it smells so chocolaty and good and every time i take it out of my cupboard to make something the scent wafts so temptingly up to my nose I so want to taste some, give in to the draw, but on the occasions that I do, I end up spitting it into the sink. It's cruel really. How can something that smells so sweet taste so incredibly bitter???
2. Flowers- Now before you screw up your face in disgust and yell "She eats flowers??", note that I learnt how disgusting they taste at a very young age. But still it's ever so sad that the taste has never and will never live up to the heavenly scent! I swear, it just makes no sense. Humph!
3. Lip gloss- this is possibly the worst, the most ridiculous of this category. You have to wear it on your lips right? And it smells sweet, succulent and delicious, right? Ok so maybe I'm being a tad melodramatic, but why is it that in most cases it just tastes like new car?
I just don't understand why it has to be that way. I dream of the day when nice smells and delicious tastes can walk hand in hand through the world, delighting us all. Is that really so much to ask? REALLY?
Cat xx

Murphy is cruel...

If existence is completely random, as many of my friends as well as I pretty much believe, being an atheist, then that means that for no particular reason, the universe, solar system, planet, everything we ever have, do and will know, just came into being for no reason at all. Now that's completely, utterly mind blowing, and yes of course I'm thankful not only that anything/everything exists at all but also that I am a human and not, i dunno, a dung beetle. But, I have a small Murphy's law type complaint: Why couldn't eating junk food be good for you instead of exercise? HUH???
Cat xx